This list may not blow your mind as much as it may make you want to blow your brains out, depending on how tired you are of goggles in Steampunk.
Steampunk has a love/hate relationship with goggles. It's generally agreed within the community that goggles aren't at all necessary for Steampunk outfits, but they're frequently used as a shorthand for making someone look "adventure-y", so they get added to all sorts of costumes.
If you're going to wear goggles, you can at least take a look at all the different ways you can wear a pair of them!
Without further ado, I present the top 6 ways to wear a pair of goggles!
This is one of the worst ways to wear your goggles. Everyone knows that real Steampunks don't wear goggles over their eyes, for fear of implying that the goggles are actually useful, and not just a fashion accessory.
Still, it happens sometimes. Usually for photographs, as many Steampunk goggles would give you a massive headache if you tried to look through them for extended periods.
This is probably the most common way to wear your goggles. It's the least offensive-looking, and some people consider it cruise-control for cool. It's not very inspired, but, well, we can't all be super creative all the time.
Plus, I'm not gonna lie, goggles just look pretty darn good on people's heads.
I can only imagine the crisis that arose when someone wanted to wear both goggles and a hat on their head at the same time. "Oh no! What shall I do?!"
I can then imagine the look of sublime joy that must have crossed their face when they realized that they could kill two birds with one stone by putting their goggles on their hat. I'm sure it was a transcendent moment.
In the above picture, cosplayer Danny Ashby is, I think, trying to wear as many pairs of glasses at the same time as possible. Also, look at that smug little smile that comes from knowing that he's wearing goggles on his hat. You'd smile like that, too, if you pulled that off.
This is the super casual, "I can't be bothered" way to wear your goggles. This method is primarily for hipsters and other people who want to look deliberately accidentally casual.
Wearing your goggles around your neck says that you were in the middle of using your goggles, and you just took them off but couldn't be bothered to put them on your head. Probably because you're too cool to wear your goggles on your head.
Why wear goggles at all, when you can force your pet to wear them for you? That way they can bear the shame of having to wear a cliched accessory while you get off scot-free, with the added benefit of being able to have a laugh at your pet's expense.
You can even give them a ratty pair, such as pictured below, because your pet probably can't appreciate the finer things in life.
That dog looks happy enough, but then again, so do the dogs at Dog Shaming.
This is my favorite way to wear your goggles: nowhere. Just leave 'em at home!
Goggles aren't necessary for Steampunk, and given how cliche they've become, maybe you should leave them alone for awhile until they become cool again.
Below, Sarah Hunter shows just how sexy a goggle-less person can be:
While we may not all be able to afford corsets and arms from Brute Force Leather (or be willing to sleep with Thomas Willeford, in this case), you don't need crazy Steampunk appendages in order to forgo your goggles.
Be creative, and think outside of the box!
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